Relationships
RESOURCES
TedTalks:
“Rethinking Infidelity” by Esther Perel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2AUat93a8Q
“The Brain in Love” by Helen Fischer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYfoGTIG7pY&t=284s
On Codependency:
“How to Tell if Your Relationship is Codependent (and What to Do About It)” by Hailey Magee: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-tell-if-your-relationship-is-codependent-and-what-to-do-about-it/
Book Recommendations:
“The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John M. Gottman
“Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy” by Jessica Fern
“Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find--and Keep--Love” by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love by Hellen Fisher
Couples, parents and children, friendships, coworkers, bosses, relationships of all shapes and colours dot our existence. From closeness to conflict, loneliness to suffocation, avoidance to clinging, we navigate them almost daily.
What have you experienced in your relationships? Do you remember your cozy childhood relationships, parents, siblings, grandparents, first teachers, first friend, or perhaps darker memories like being bullied or abused in some way? What are your current relationships like?
So often our past experiences inform our current experiences and this is often true in relationships. We gravitate towards what is familiar. We may have learned that love meant sharing and caring. On the other hand we may have learned that love meant abandonment and/or harsh criticism. We might find ourselves in a loop of repetition. Our needs may be well satisfied or they may be so unfulfilled we munch at any passing buffet table.
There is an endless stream of information out there on relationships, as numerous as gyms and diet regimes. And yet we continue to struggle to find “the one”, stay with “the one”, stay in good relationship with “ the one” as well as “the many”. It is without a doubt a complex and yet necessary system. We are pack animals after all.